Little Christ in a Garden

I am alive and painting. I just couldn't show you this painting until just now because it was a commission/surprise graduation gift for My Lovely Friend (click on the link!). Now she has it, so now you can see it:

Little Christ in a Garden

Detail Image

I love this painting. As you can see, I managed to do a ginger-headed, freckled-faced, little Jesus with a mouse and toadstools. I had fun painting this. I was hoping for a fairy tale feel- I don't see why the Christ child wouldn't have loved fairy tales.
      And I think I should let you know that for some reason my carpal tunnel is better lately. I am not sure why, and I don't know how long this good spell will last, but I will take what I can get.
      I just got back from Franciscan University where they sent off the newly graduated class of 2012. If I had stayed at Franciscan longer than 2 years, this would have been my class. I love them so. It was a great blessing to be there with them, through the good and the bad.

‎"WHAT was wonderful about childhood is that anything in it was a wonder. It was not merely a world full of miracles; it was a miraculous world." ~GKC: 'Autobiography.'

“My imagination is a monastery, and I am its monk” -John Keats

When you are describing,
A shape, or sound, or tint;
Don't state the matter plainly,
But put it in a hint;
And learn to look at all things,
With a sort of mental squint.
~Lewis Carroll

One Of Those Moments That Makes Everything Worth It

Last Weekend, a wonderful Priest, Fr. John Malloy of the Father's of Mercy, passed away. He was an Irish priest from Stanton Island, NY, who was always telling stories about his Irish New York City Cop of a dad who didn't tolerate no nonsense. He was a good man who never wanted to stop, and who wanted to "die with his boots on," and who blamed the poor nuns for keeping him from missionary work in the nursing home. Shortly after his 65th anniversary of being ordained to the priest hood, he passed away.
     Some time in the past few years, my Dad gave Fr. Malloy a print of one of my paintings from 2004. I remember thinking that I was glad he did it, but I wasn't sure how much good it did- Fr. Malloy's memory was deteriorating and I didn't know if he even remembered who I was, or if the painting would have any meaning to him at all. I think that the day we gave him the print was the last time I saw him alive.
      At the funeral, I had more than one person, including one of the nuns who took care of him, tell me that he actually was aware of the painting, that he was very proud of it, and that he had it with him within sight as he died. It was this painting that I did when I was about 15:

              It's funny. Things like this always happen when I am doubting whether I am called to study art at all. I have tried and tried and tried since I was about 6 (ok, 14) to get into art school, and it just refuses to work out- at least so far. In Austria (I studied abroad there for about 3 months with Franciscan University), this was a huge issue for me... There I was, on my last semester with Franciscan, about to graduate and leave my friends, go into the world, surrounded by AMAZING art in many forms, etc, and all I could think of was how I no longer felt called to study art, because 1), I had no way in sight to do it, and 2) because I felt I could never paint anything like the masters did- I could never paint anything that would make a difference or mean anything. But, during the weeks that were particularly hellish in this way (and that is hardly an exaggeration- art was my life), some little nun on campus in Austria would whisper in the chapel, "keep drawing," or, "can I see what you've drawn recently!?" (it's always nuns.... watch those nuns!)
      It's tough. You can't go to school to make yourself "useful," and you do blog posts of mice and spiders and dragons and Harry Potter. How on earth could God use that? And yet that's just it- I may be discouraged, but the fact is you just never know. The same day of the funeral, I read this in a little daily prayer book:
          
              "For those who love God, all things work together unto good." Rom 8:28


               Reflection: Those who love God are drawn nearer to the Father by every circumstance of daily life- joy brings them closer by ties of loving gratitude, and sorrow by the painful way of the Cross. 
               Those who do not love God become haughty and forget Him in the passing joys of this life and in sadness become bitter and desperate. 


               Prayer: "Lord, grant me Your true love. This is all I need."

This is why I LOVE BEING CATHOLIC SO MUCH! Jesus is good. As long as I strive to love and trust God more completely, to become a saint (A thought which nearly makes me laugh. Good thing God is ALL powerful.), everything is taken care of. I may have no idea what I am doing. I may not have known that a painting I did at 15 would mean so much to such a holy man during his last hours, but that didn't matter. I may never know of anything good I accomplish with my art ever again- but if I paint out of love, I can have complete confidence that it is doing something out there in time and eternity. St. Therese truly was such a gift. Her little way of trust in God's loving mercy applies to everything- so simple, yet all encompassing. I do not see how I could have made this far without her little way. If you have not read her Story of a Soul, fix that last year.
    
"Lord, grant me Your love. This is all I need."

May 14th, 2011: Yes I Have Been Busy! Ish.

   This painting is a commission I did for a friend, to be a graduation gift for another friend. So really, I was doing it for two friends- only, one got the painting, and the other did not. I will see what I can do for the paintingless friend in the future. ;)
   This painting is part of a style I seem to be developing: sketchy, impressionistic I suppose, and more contrasting. I like it. It's fun. I also actually really truly like this painting; which is odd, because I hardly ever like my work. It was rather painful to give up.

Hmm... how about another St. Therese quote I reread last night- I think it is rather perfect:

My joy I find in pain and loss,
I love the thorns that guard the rose;
With joy I kiss each heavy cross,
And smile with every tear that flows.
-St. Therese

April 15th... No Drawing Yet, But A Funny Story (a.k.a an excuse)

So... I was going to go to the YMCA and Stations of the Cross, and then come home and spend a lovely evening drawing something (I want to do a drawing of a more happy persuasion...). But, yeah..... something happened: I had a headache before leaving, and so I went to the cabinet to take an advil, only, I took a sleeping pill by accident! So yeah... I BARELY jogged half a mile and had to sit the whole time during stations, and have been a zombie ever since.... Maybe I will draw SOMETHING later tonight, even if it's just a salt shaker. I will try, that is all I can promise.
      And for some reason the boys (I have two younger brothers) are walking around the kitchen communicating by saying only "coo coo".... when you're drunk on sleeping pills this does really strange things to your head.... just sayin.
     Oh! And I have been thinking that along with my own drawings, I may post artwork that I like by other artist, living and (mostly) dead. I just get so excited about stuff and want to share! I'm sure you won't mind. I hope.

An hour or two later:
Ok! I did a quick sketch! I remembered that I told a friend I would do a quick unicorn sketch for her, and so here it is. I have to confess I only spent like 10 minutes on it, but I intend to get her a more detailed drawing in the  future.

Ok... so there are flecks of some ferin' substance on this.... there must have been dust or something on my scanner.

     And here is my painting by someone else for the day. I have no idea who this is by; I found this in a magazine, but it didn't have a name or source, and I couldn't find it on google images... so I suppose we are out of luck this time. But I love it! It may be my current favorite of the Child Jesus so far. 

Absolutely lovely! I wish I knew who did it. If anyone knows, please tell me. 

     Since we are kind of on the theme of the Child Jesus, let's use a St. Therese quote for today:

"If I did not simply suffer from one moment to another, it would be impossible for me to be patient; but I look only at the present moment, forget the past, and I take good care not to forestall the future. When we yield to discouragement or despair it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future. "-St. Therese of Lisieux

April 4th, 2011: Therese's Eye, Color Added, And A Bit of Emo Mixed With Horse

So it has been a while since I've posted. I did warn you that I would be gone about a week. But I can't deny that I was home allll this past weekend and did not post. I was busy mind you: I was adding color to my Passion painting below. Here is a bit of it:

This is the only section of it that I am happy with, and so it is the only part I will show you right now. Ugh. Why do these things never turn out as planned!?!? But anyway, the entire painting is colorized, but  most of it needs some major reworking before it is presentable. I worked on my anatomy DVDs this weekend as well:

Yes I know, I spelt "humerus" incorrectly (I like saying "spelt" better than "spelled" for some reason). I know right, SUCH an exciting sketch! But I chose this one because you can at least tell sorta that it is the humerus bone of the arm. The mess of lines on the top is the clavicle. Yes, I learned TWO words today: humerus, and clavicle.
     I also drew an emo girl (I was wanting to do a gothic-like victorian-ish drawing from either Jane Eyre or Phantom of the Opera, but my brain was so dead that I couldn't remember a scene, nor focus enough to read one). To the left of her is a quick crooked sketch based off St. Therese's eye, and to the right is a little horse. I wanted to draw a mouse, but some how a horse came out instead. Go figure.

While I am on St. Therese, I think I will put a quote by her yet again. Yes, I am rather fond of her.
      ...... Actually I changed my mind. Fulton Sheen has the quote of the day!

Broken things are precious. We eat broken bread because we share in the death of Our Lord and his broken life. Broken flowers give perfume. Broken inscence is used in adoration. A broken ship saved Paul and many other pssengers on their way to Rome. Sometimes the only way the good Lord can get into some hearts is to break them. - Fulton Sheen.

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March 22nd, 2011: Passion Painting

Today I spent hours working on this painting for a priest friend of mine. It features the Passion, with the Divine Mercy rays coming from Christ's side, St. Augustine, and Mary holding St. Margaret of Cortona. It is for a group similar to Rachel's Vineyard, and is focused on helping single and post abortion mothers. The theme of course is chastity, seeing as St. Augustine and St. Margaret are saints who struggled in that area especially. This painting has taken me FOREVER. MONTHS. That's mainly because I had such a hard time painting Christ the way I wanted, especially with painting Christ's face. It is STILL not what I want, of course, but at least it exists FINALLY. You have NO idea how I have fought with this painting! Another thing you should know is that it is only about 1/2 to 3/3 finished, because I plan to add color next. That will be so fun after struggling so much with the faces. I painted it black and white at first so I wouldn't have to fight with color at the same time I was fighting with the figures. I plan to add color mostly in transparent washes, but I will paint over the black and white completely a little bit. So here it is!

Below are some detail images:

I'm not sure If I will post anything else tonight... this wore me out! Heh, I came down stairs and the family tells me I have paint on my face. My sister says it is war paint-- I feel like I've been fighting! And oh my goodness it's super time!? When did that happen? Oh well, I spose that means I'm another day closer to my little trip and seeing my friends. :)

February 28th: Sketchings on a Newspaper and a Bit of Anime

So, drawing one: I am left at church on Sunday for about 35 minutes. It is raining and so I go back inside and decide to sketch the statues of St. Michael and the Child Jesus, and the stained glass window of the crucifixion. I didn't have any paper or pencils, so I borrowed a pen and an old newspaper.  It was a bit challenging to draw standing up.

The second drawing has a picture I drew of a girl at the computers at the library where I work, and a small portion of James Patterson's Maximum Ride graphic novel. I got impatient with the girl at the computer rather quickly; she kept squirming and giggling with the girl next door to her. I am  not quick enough to draw squirming children yet. So, I thought I'd give a go at some anime. I usually have no patience for it. I like to be sketchy, and it's hard to make anime look decent without drawing cleaner lines than I want to make time to do. At least, I haven't figured out how to do it any other way yet.

I want an art quote for the day.... hmm...... How about "Bad artists always admire each other's work." - Oscar Wilde. Ha! I mean, oops! I mean, what? (what part of that applies to me? Hmm... makes wonder if he's wrong, or if he's right and is talking to me.) So, if I try hard to admire the BEST artwork there EVER was, would I automatically wake up a better artist tomorrow morning? It's worth a try.